(Note: in response to the general hysteria about Twitter possibly going down, I am going to try to salvage some of my favorite threads. I hope you enjoy ~ CH)
This is a story about doing your job well, no matter what it is.
One day I am at Walmart, to pick up ginger snaps or a watch battery or something.
Suddenly, I hear over the loudspeaker, "Shoppers, go to aisle 2 to get your free potato spiralizer."
I want a free spiralizer! So I head over to aisle 2. A crowd of about 30 shows up, expectantly.
In due time, a young fellow in a blue Walmart apron and his assistant roll a cart into view.
I don't see any spiralizers but there is a huge display of knives & fruit on the cart.
But what struck me was this guy's appearance. He was a younger but identical twin of John Malkovich. And with the same dead eye expression.
You could tell he did not want to be there and looked upon us poor Walmart shoppers with disdain.
And as it turns out, there was no instant potato spiralizer for us. Only if we first sit through a 15 minute presentation on an exclusive set of knives.
Of course.
But I think it is probably worth it, and can't wait to claim my free prize and return home in triumph.
So I sit through the presentation as the doppelganger begins.
I'm instantly mesmerized. Not only did this guy resemble Malkovich exquisitely, he had his exact voice and mannerisms down to a T.
I was in a Hollywood movie, front row.
No one else seemed to notice. They had their eyes fixed on the knives as they sliced! and they diced! and they did things no knives had done before!
But the whole time, this guy does it in this low key deadpan Malkovich impersonation. It was perfect.
I studied him carefully and he was clearly doing this on purpose. He was pouring himself into his work even if nobody else got it.
The crowds are busy watching the knives fly around, decimating every piece of fruit in sight, but all I can see is Basie from Empire of the Sun.
Malkovich Jr. went on. Turns out this incredible set of five knives™ was not available anywhere else - not even on TV.
They were not even on the shelves of Walmart. This was the only opportunity to buy them, which we could do for only $39.99.
Didn't we want in on that?
After 15 minutes, he was done, and I wanted my potato spiralizer. Sure enough, he pulled out a little box and we each got a $0.75 plastic tool I stuck in a kitchen drawer somewhere. But the show was not over.
I knew the thing was a shtick, that no set of knives existed that I could not get somewhere else.
Well. The entire crowd *swarmed* Malkovich, arms outstretched, cash literally in hand. They demanded these knives.
And Malkovich is there, passing them out as fast as he can.
He had done his job. Superbly.
I waited, and then got my free spiralizer and thanked him for his presentation. I told him he did a great job and that he reminded me of a famous actor.
He winked, and that was that. He knew.
I will never forget that little story.
"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might." ~ Ecclesiastes 9:10 FIN